Christian singles are in a battle every day when it comes to dating. As Christians we all are called to a higher standard of living than when we walked in our fleshly desires. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (NIV). Whether we are young or old, the battle rages on in our flesh to remain pure and holy while we are dating. We must honor God with our bodies and we also want to honor those we are dating. But we have help through the Holy Spirit who guides us and we know that Jesus has overcome the world! We don't have to face the battle alone.
Here are some very practical dating tips that you can apply while dating. Some of these dating tips may seem a bit rigid, but when followed you’ll find that you end up with a beautiful relationship on the other end; and you’ll have no regrets.
• Pray – Before you even leave home to meet your date you need to spend time on your knees asking God to help you honor Him and your date. You can never go wrong with prayer. This will also put you in the proper mind-set for your time together.
• Talk a lot – There’s no better way to get to know someone than by talking to them about a wide variety of topics. The more you talk, the more you will begin to know if this might be a relationship that you should pursue.
• Let’s be friends! – This is an important dating tip to remember. Don’t forget that until you are married the person you are dating could be some one else’s future mate. When you begin dating someone there is a lot of pressure to move things along much too quickly. Choose to keep your relationship on a friendship level. The longer you can remain "just friends", the better your relationship will be if you decide to get married at some point. It's great being married to your best friend!
• Pray in groups – What in the world does that mean? This sounds like an odd dating tip. What we’re suggesting is that you don’t pray together alone as a couple too early in your relationship. Prayer is so very important in any relationship so please don't misunderstand this point. When you pray with someone of the opposite sex that you care about you begin to build a level of intimacy that can often lead to trouble.
The goal in any Christian relationship is to honor God. Prayer is intimate communication with God and can draw couples together in ways not intended if you are not careful. It’s better to pray together when you are with other Christians. This will help keep the focus on God and not allow thoughts and emotions to wander to prohibited areas.
• Choose to not kiss – At least until you are engaged to be married. Okay, this can be extremely difficult, but if you can follow this one dating tip then most of the others will happen naturally. Even kissing once you are engaged can be very dangerous. It’s better to not kiss at all until your wedding day!
• Include another couple – You will find that physical issues are much less distracting if you plan most of your dating situations to include other couples. Group dates can be a lot of fun and you’ll also be helping your friends maintain purity in their relationships as well.
• Always treat each other with respect – If you respect the person you are with then you won’t say or do things that will intentionally hurt them. Ask yourself "what would Jesus do?" and then do it!
Don't simply read these dating tips and then not try to apply any of them to your dating situations. Dating is a wonderful experience and should be enjoyed by both people in the relationship. If you came searching for these dating tips then you have a desire to honor your date and honor God with the choices you will make while dating. We pray these dating tips will bless your life and your future relationships.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things." Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
Happy Dating!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tips for Speed Dating
Smile.
There's no quicker way to improve your looks and make a great impact than to smile. Psychology and body language experts agree that it's one of the most effective ways to make yourself more attractive and approachable. It's not necessary to do your most convincing game show spokesmodel impression - just your usual "I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face will do the trick.
The Color Cue.
If you want to create an on-the-spot thrill, wearing red is the way to go. According to color experts, the most stimulating color you can wear is red, which actually increases blood flow. Experts says that women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. They says, guys who frequently wear blue are "stable, faithful and always there." The blue guy is a fabulous candidate for a long-term relationship -- someone who's dependable, monogamous and can match his own clothes.
How to Score.
Be sure to write the person’s name next to their number, that way if you get mixed up somehow (don’t feel bad, it happens all the time) it will be easier for organizers to figure out what’s what and who’s who. Be sure to keep your scorecard facedown on the table during your date, nobody else needs to know if you’re the most selective person on the planet or you’re just playing the odds, hoping for the big winner.
First Things First.
Get any deal-breakers out of the way right away. Hate smokers? Ask now if he’ll be looking for an ashtray on the break. Horribly allergic to cats? Find out quick if she’s a magnet for four-legged strays. You’ll save yourself some trouble later if you get the deal-breakers out on the table.
Where are you from? What do you do?
Try to avoid asking the same old boring questions. By the time someone has asked you what you do for a living 34 times, it’s bound to be pretty stale. Ask questions that are fun or unusual but not bizarre, and humor is always good.
Good: What would your best friend say about you?
Bad: If you were an axe murderer, where would you keep the bodies?
Keep it Clean.
Studies have shown that men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love. To jumpstart attraction, wear a cinnamon-vanilla scented lotion or perfume. Experts says that wearing cinnamon/vanilla blends increases the presence of pheromone-like substances and dramatically increases attraction. Women, according to a recent study, are attracted to a black licorice scent. So, put some licorice in your shirt pocket. And, if you're at a club and happen to spill a little Jaggermeister on your shirt, don't worry about the stain, just consider it your lucky night.
The Safety Drill.
Once you’ve made a few matches and you decide to meet for a date, remember to always meet in a public place, or even in a group date setting. Carry a cell phone, and let someone at home know where you’re going, who you’ll be with and when you’ll be home. Even though you’ve already met in person, it’s always best to be cautious, be smart and be safe.
There's no quicker way to improve your looks and make a great impact than to smile. Psychology and body language experts agree that it's one of the most effective ways to make yourself more attractive and approachable. It's not necessary to do your most convincing game show spokesmodel impression - just your usual "I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here" face will do the trick.
The Color Cue.
If you want to create an on-the-spot thrill, wearing red is the way to go. According to color experts, the most stimulating color you can wear is red, which actually increases blood flow. Experts says that women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. They says, guys who frequently wear blue are "stable, faithful and always there." The blue guy is a fabulous candidate for a long-term relationship -- someone who's dependable, monogamous and can match his own clothes.
How to Score.
Be sure to write the person’s name next to their number, that way if you get mixed up somehow (don’t feel bad, it happens all the time) it will be easier for organizers to figure out what’s what and who’s who. Be sure to keep your scorecard facedown on the table during your date, nobody else needs to know if you’re the most selective person on the planet or you’re just playing the odds, hoping for the big winner.
First Things First.
Get any deal-breakers out of the way right away. Hate smokers? Ask now if he’ll be looking for an ashtray on the break. Horribly allergic to cats? Find out quick if she’s a magnet for four-legged strays. You’ll save yourself some trouble later if you get the deal-breakers out on the table.
Where are you from? What do you do?
Try to avoid asking the same old boring questions. By the time someone has asked you what you do for a living 34 times, it’s bound to be pretty stale. Ask questions that are fun or unusual but not bizarre, and humor is always good.
Good: What would your best friend say about you?
Bad: If you were an axe murderer, where would you keep the bodies?
Keep it Clean.
Studies have shown that men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love. To jumpstart attraction, wear a cinnamon-vanilla scented lotion or perfume. Experts says that wearing cinnamon/vanilla blends increases the presence of pheromone-like substances and dramatically increases attraction. Women, according to a recent study, are attracted to a black licorice scent. So, put some licorice in your shirt pocket. And, if you're at a club and happen to spill a little Jaggermeister on your shirt, don't worry about the stain, just consider it your lucky night.
The Safety Drill.
Once you’ve made a few matches and you decide to meet for a date, remember to always meet in a public place, or even in a group date setting. Carry a cell phone, and let someone at home know where you’re going, who you’ll be with and when you’ll be home. Even though you’ve already met in person, it’s always best to be cautious, be smart and be safe.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
First Date Conversation That Wins You Second Dates
Your ability to have fun on a first date and win yourself a second one is rarely about the topic of conversation. Read these tips on what is important when trying to create successful dating conversations...
Practice your first date conversation
Practice does indeed make perfect. If you don't feel your conversational skills are very good, particularly under the added pressure of a first date, then you're going to need to practice. Nobody becomes a great conversationalist by learning a few questions or topics (although that's a good start). Read up on some of the tips to having great conversations and practice them until you master them.
Don't make your first date a big deal
The more tense you get about a date, the more difficult you'll find it to create an interesting conversation. Here are some ways to release some of the tension before your dates:
• Remember - it's highly unlikely this person is your ideal partner, so in reality you haven't that much to lose if you don't get a second date
• Work on getting more first dates. I know that's not such great advice if you're just about to go on your one and only date in months! But, if you have an excess of first dates then you'll be a lot more relaxed about dating, because if this one doesn't work out, you have a number of others that probably will
• Fear is generally an indication of a lack of preparation. So work out 5 questions that will kick start a conversation.
• Remember that not all first dates are meant to lead to second dates. If you don't get a second date even though you wanted one it's because the two of you aren't compatible - not because you aren't a nice person.
The conversation topic should be... about them
People love to talk about themselves and things that interest them. One of your primary aims in a first date conversation (or any dating conversation) is to let them enjoy themselves. If they're having fun with you on a date, then the chances are they'll want to go out with you again. To do this you need to ask them questions they're able to answer by talking about things they enjoy. Good examples include:
• What do you love to do in your spare time?
• What are you most passionate about? Why?
• Who's your favorite film star? What is it about them that you love?
Ask enough questions on a date that make them feel good and they'll have had a fun date with you. And if they have a fun date with you, chances are, they'll want to date you again.
Practice your first date conversation
Practice does indeed make perfect. If you don't feel your conversational skills are very good, particularly under the added pressure of a first date, then you're going to need to practice. Nobody becomes a great conversationalist by learning a few questions or topics (although that's a good start). Read up on some of the tips to having great conversations and practice them until you master them.
Don't make your first date a big deal
The more tense you get about a date, the more difficult you'll find it to create an interesting conversation. Here are some ways to release some of the tension before your dates:
• Remember - it's highly unlikely this person is your ideal partner, so in reality you haven't that much to lose if you don't get a second date
• Work on getting more first dates. I know that's not such great advice if you're just about to go on your one and only date in months! But, if you have an excess of first dates then you'll be a lot more relaxed about dating, because if this one doesn't work out, you have a number of others that probably will
• Fear is generally an indication of a lack of preparation. So work out 5 questions that will kick start a conversation.
• Remember that not all first dates are meant to lead to second dates. If you don't get a second date even though you wanted one it's because the two of you aren't compatible - not because you aren't a nice person.
The conversation topic should be... about them
People love to talk about themselves and things that interest them. One of your primary aims in a first date conversation (or any dating conversation) is to let them enjoy themselves. If they're having fun with you on a date, then the chances are they'll want to go out with you again. To do this you need to ask them questions they're able to answer by talking about things they enjoy. Good examples include:
• What do you love to do in your spare time?
• What are you most passionate about? Why?
• Who's your favorite film star? What is it about them that you love?
Ask enough questions on a date that make them feel good and they'll have had a fun date with you. And if they have a fun date with you, chances are, they'll want to date you again.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Ice Breaker: Conversation Starter Suggestions for First Date
“What’s your favorite sport? Do you follow any teams?”
Guys love to talk about sports, and they’ll be more than willing to share the details on their favorite team. Asking this kind of question tells a guy that you’re willing to go halfway and that you’re not going to find his statistics-spouting boring as dirt. It will relax him immediately … and, if you like sports, too, it will be a match made in heaven.
“That’s a cool watch/shirt/pair of shoes. Where did you get it?”
The fact that you’ve noticed some aspect of his appearance will mean a lot to him. He’ll feel flattered that you’ve been checking him out, and examining it more closely will require that you lean close and do some light stroking for a closer look. This is a great opportunity to show how fantastic you think he looks … and guys don’t get compliments like that often.
“Have you ever done X?”
Your first date is when you start to find common ground, and comparing hobbies and experiences is the first place to start. Asking your date about his experiences can allow him to brag a little or give you the opportunity to bring up cool things that you have done.
“Have you ever been to Y?”
Everyone likes talking about places they’ve been. Ask him if he has ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it's a club, a coffee shop, a museum, or even a park or hiking trail. If he hasn’t been there, and you are hitting it off by that point, he may very well see that as a suggestion to use when asking you for a second date!
Guys love to talk about sports, and they’ll be more than willing to share the details on their favorite team. Asking this kind of question tells a guy that you’re willing to go halfway and that you’re not going to find his statistics-spouting boring as dirt. It will relax him immediately … and, if you like sports, too, it will be a match made in heaven.
“That’s a cool watch/shirt/pair of shoes. Where did you get it?”
The fact that you’ve noticed some aspect of his appearance will mean a lot to him. He’ll feel flattered that you’ve been checking him out, and examining it more closely will require that you lean close and do some light stroking for a closer look. This is a great opportunity to show how fantastic you think he looks … and guys don’t get compliments like that often.
“Have you ever done X?”
Your first date is when you start to find common ground, and comparing hobbies and experiences is the first place to start. Asking your date about his experiences can allow him to brag a little or give you the opportunity to bring up cool things that you have done.
“Have you ever been to Y?”
Everyone likes talking about places they’ve been. Ask him if he has ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it's a club, a coffee shop, a museum, or even a park or hiking trail. If he hasn’t been there, and you are hitting it off by that point, he may very well see that as a suggestion to use when asking you for a second date!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
What to Talk About on First Date (For Women)
Don’t get caught with nothing to say on a first date! The women who can keep a guy’s interest from the moment he meets her know a secret: guys love relaxed, warm, funny, positive gals who like hearing them talk. There is nothing that a guy finds more flattering than to be asked about his opinions and experiences.
So when you find yourself in a situation where the silence starts to grow, ask a question! What do you want to know about this guy? What intrigues you?
When you’re on a first date, remember the following tips:
Keep all conversation positive. Never bring up negative things, like how hard your life is right now, how complicated things are with your parents, or how you’re sorry that your nails are chipped because you didn’t have time for a manicure. Never complain about anything. Avoid talking about your expectations for a relationship and any controversial subjects until you get to know him better.
Relax! When you are nervous, you often speak faster, and you may appear more serious, intense, or silly than you usually are. Before you go out on your date, you may want to try watching a funny movie. Laughing will relax all your muscles, send good feelings to your brain, and gets your blood pumping. You’ll greet your guy with a great big smile on your face—and he’ll think it’s all because of him.
When he is talking, lean forward and actively listen. Flirtatious signals such as crossing your legs, playing with your hair, or even cupping your hand under your chin may make him aware of your attributes. Guys respond to visual cues much better than verbal ones. If you’re interested, let your body do the talking for you.
Don’t ask the same old questions. Everyone gets asked what they do or where they’re from. Try some questions that he’s never been asked before. If you can, focus the question on something that you’ve noticed about him specifically.
Avoid asking him questions about his job or the kind of car he drives or whether he owns his own house. It may appear as if you’re a gold-digger who won’t take any guy who makes less than Donald Trump.
If you’ve got any interesting hobbies or an unusual job, play it up! Guys love independent women with adventurous streaks. They imagine that she might just spring some new kind of adventure on them. Just don’t go on about it too long. He may look as if he’s enjoying listening to you, but turn the conversation to him so that you get to know as much about him as possible … which is the point of the date, after all. You already know about yourself!
Give him a little help, but don’t do all the work yourself. As much as we may believe that the world is 50% men and 50% women, and all responsibilities should be divided accordingly, in the realm of romance men still like to feel as if they wear the pants. Help a guy along a bit on conversation if things are floundering, but let him guide the conversation as much as you can. He wants to make a good impression on you just as much as you want to make a good impression on him.
So when you find yourself in a situation where the silence starts to grow, ask a question! What do you want to know about this guy? What intrigues you?
When you’re on a first date, remember the following tips:
Keep all conversation positive. Never bring up negative things, like how hard your life is right now, how complicated things are with your parents, or how you’re sorry that your nails are chipped because you didn’t have time for a manicure. Never complain about anything. Avoid talking about your expectations for a relationship and any controversial subjects until you get to know him better.
Relax! When you are nervous, you often speak faster, and you may appear more serious, intense, or silly than you usually are. Before you go out on your date, you may want to try watching a funny movie. Laughing will relax all your muscles, send good feelings to your brain, and gets your blood pumping. You’ll greet your guy with a great big smile on your face—and he’ll think it’s all because of him.
When he is talking, lean forward and actively listen. Flirtatious signals such as crossing your legs, playing with your hair, or even cupping your hand under your chin may make him aware of your attributes. Guys respond to visual cues much better than verbal ones. If you’re interested, let your body do the talking for you.
Don’t ask the same old questions. Everyone gets asked what they do or where they’re from. Try some questions that he’s never been asked before. If you can, focus the question on something that you’ve noticed about him specifically.
Avoid asking him questions about his job or the kind of car he drives or whether he owns his own house. It may appear as if you’re a gold-digger who won’t take any guy who makes less than Donald Trump.
If you’ve got any interesting hobbies or an unusual job, play it up! Guys love independent women with adventurous streaks. They imagine that she might just spring some new kind of adventure on them. Just don’t go on about it too long. He may look as if he’s enjoying listening to you, but turn the conversation to him so that you get to know as much about him as possible … which is the point of the date, after all. You already know about yourself!
Give him a little help, but don’t do all the work yourself. As much as we may believe that the world is 50% men and 50% women, and all responsibilities should be divided accordingly, in the realm of romance men still like to feel as if they wear the pants. Help a guy along a bit on conversation if things are floundering, but let him guide the conversation as much as you can. He wants to make a good impression on you just as much as you want to make a good impression on him.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
